IT department will give extra shower credit The Badger Herald

While IT, often referred to as CS, is UW’s biggest major by size, it’s also — in many ways — the smelliest. Non-CS students have been known to avoid the CS building due to its stench, and CS students who maintain good hygiene report having to wear N-95s just to attend the conference.

“Some of my classmates have microchips,” said Elizabeth Nguyen, a computer science student with good hygiene. “I’m not kidding. They literally have dirt on their cheeks and bits of food in their hair. It’s like ‘Oliver Twist’ – except they smell like giant sewer rats.

There hasn’t been any academic research on why CS majors emit such noxious odors, but Nguyen said the smelliest students tend to be male and wear flip-flops.

CS junior Carmelo Davidson, who is really stinky, said he wears flip flops and doesn’t shower to “improve his coding skills.”

“I think uh…it has to do with…uh…” Davidson tilted his head to the side and scratched his greasy hair with a long-nailed hand.

davidson mouth relaxed into an ‘O’, revealing yellowed teeth.

After Nguyen snapped his fingers in front of his glassy, ​​blank eyes, he surprised and said, “Me, code well! My smell makes me code well.

After that statement, Davidson walked away and went to his phone. Nguyen, who was interviewing her, rolled her eyes and shoved her with a special six-foot pole she uses to interact with male computer science students.

“You need to shower,” she shouted. “You have fleas.”

“Lice or fleas?” Davidson said, frowning at the unexpected stimulus. “What are fleas?”

“Some kind of insect, you idiot!”

“Bug?” Davidson said angrily, displaying a rare flash of emotion. “Me debug good good!”

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UW public health professor Sarah Langley said microchips computer science students wear could be linked to an outbreak of bubonic plague at the computer science career fair, held last Wednesday.

“One of the employers at the job fair began showing symptoms consistent with the plague shortly after the fair, Langely said. “Then he died. Not before he’s infected half of Chicago, though.

Langely leaned over and said in a whisper, “That’s not scientific, but it was definitely from one of the computer science students.” Probably this one.

Langely pointed to Davidson, who was curled up in a ball on the floor, listening to “low-fi code beats” on his phone.

In response to accusations that its students are causing plague outbreaks, the CS department announced that all classes would offer extra credit to students who shower daily.

Nguyen said these measures are good but not sufficient.

“We’re also going to need some extra credit for wearing deodorant,” Nguyen said. “And to brush your teeth and not talk about bitcoin.”

“Bitcoin? Davidson said, straightening up after his nap. “I mine bitcoin pretty well.”

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